Wanderings: Psst… want to buy some chocolate?

It has been just over two weeks since the kids went back to school, and our house has become a chocolate selling shop.

Parents know the drill. To fundraise at school for XYZ reason, here’s a box of ABC items, or an order form. Go sell something.

Once the kids get home from school on that first day, they hit up their grandparents and ask Mom and Dad to buy (chocolate covered mints please). By the second day, the box is on the table and it’s up to Mom and Dad to hit up their friends, work colleagues, acquaintances, or complete strangers.

Of course, there’s always a deadline and children deal with fundraising like they do with a major project that is due. You will never know when your kids have something due, but odds are you’ll find out about it the night before.

To pre-emptive strike said fundraising deadline – you sell: Three boxes of caramel swirls here, two boxes of chocolate covered almonds there. Of course the fundraising company that stocks these boxes never put in enough chocolate covered mints. And why exactly does this company put exactly two more boxes of those almonds than is humanly possible to sell?

You know what happens when you bring in a box or three of chocolate to sell at work? Your co-workers will expect you buy their kids latest fundraising for their school, hockey program or other endeavour.

“I bought your kid’s chocolate so here, buy a pizza kit.” You can swap out the word “pizza kit” for cookie dough, garden seeds or any number of overpriced nonsense to empty your wallet. And you can’t say no to buying these things. Especially if your co-worker/friend/guy down the road bought from your kid. Otherwise you will be known as “that guy”. It’s never good to become “that guy”.

If fundraising for our kids schools is going to remain “a thing” can we at least have useful items to flog? Whatever happened to fundraisers of the past like magazine subscriptions?

Buying a year’s worth of Maclean’s magazine or the Saturday Night Post (showing my age here), at least gives you 52 weeks of something for your money. How long does a box of chocolate covered almonds really last? Less than an hour. Don’t ask me how I know that.

Instead of junk food, maybe we could sell steaks, or gas cards, or even Ottawa Senators tickets. Perhaps not that team, they need all the help they can get.
The continuous cycle of hitting each other up to fundraise will not end anytime soon. It is the song that never ends.

At least you can commiserate over the 12 boxes of almonds you couldn’t sell and had to buy yourself.

Anyone want any chocolate covered almonds?