Do not fold, spindle or…

Let’s face it. The dating scene in 2013 has changed…just a little. 

If the last time you went out on a blind date, Elvis was just leaving the army, cars had huge chrome fins and Tommy and Annette were chanting “Meeska, Mouska Mousketeer” you may find the 21st century dating rituals a bit daunting.

Parents, well-meaning college room mates, your Aunt Tilly (“Have I got the perfect guy for you! So he’s a little short. And lumpy. And appears to be looking in two directions at the same time!”)  are no longer the source of introductions. No, today’s career man and woman must turn to a totally different kind of match maker.

This match maker has a screen, a wired brain, a lot of bytes and needs your credit card number. 

Just answer a few simple questions, punch the responses in, and a massive computer brain will sift through millions of contenders, then pop out the ideal match. (Couldn’t be any worse than Aunt Tilly.)

Why not, I thought? Let’s see who my perfect soul mate could be. After all, 50 million ads for dating sites running on television every day must mean something.

So I chose my site, and settled down to honestly answer the “let’s develop your dating profile” questions.

Sex? Well, isn’t that sort of why one wants to find a permanent soul m…oh, I see. Female.

Age? 39. Give or take a decade or two. (Don’t push me.)

Qualities you are looking for in the perfect mate? Easy question. Male. Breathing.

Geographical area you would consider for matches? Again, an easy question. Earth.

What is your favourite colour? Green. No, blue. Wait! Red! Yellow? Final response: plaid.

If you were washed ashore on a desert island, and you could only have three things with you, what would they be?

Easy one. A fully fueled 60 foot yacht, the Ottawa Senators and an unlimited bank account.

Which do you admire? A sense of humour? A sense of adventure? A sense of accomplishment?

You betcha.

What is your personal net worth?

Next question.

In which sports are you accomplished?

Next question.

Why have you selected this on-line dating service?

Aunt Tilly is out of town.

I won’t go into a lot of details on how this all came out. I will say I carried on quite an exciting computer conversation with one potential for a while…until I discovered “he” was a programmable digital toaster oven.

I still don’t know which of us finally broke it off. 

 

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